


I worry I'll die young while I worry I'll grow old (I worry for the time I spent worrying alone)

by cefmoon



Series: Prompts [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Constipation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Hatake Kakashi Is Trying, Hatake Kakashi-centric, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Not Beta Read, Romance, Timeline What Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:08:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24307972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cefmoon/pseuds/cefmoon
Summary: "I'm not scared of dying." he said, because shinobi were trained to give their lives for their village and Kakashi had been stripped of that fear when he turned five years old and made genin. "I'm afraid of what will happen to the people I love when I die."
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: Prompts [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680976
Comments: 9
Kudos: 115





	I worry I'll die young while I worry I'll grow old (I worry for the time I spent worrying alone)

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the song "A Troubled Mind" by Noah Kahan.  
> There are two lines inspired by a Tumblr post I can't find right now but when I do I'll link it!

Hatake Kakashi was important. No, no, scratch that; he was _indispensable_. 

Being one of the best shinobi in Konoha, the silver-haired man more often than not carried his title like a burden; known by everyone as one of the strongest ninjas out there, his years of experience, notable ability to strategize and infamous jutsu gave him a huge responsibility on his duty to protect and defend the village. 

So, putting it lightly, he had a lot of weight on his shoulders. 

He managed to keep it cool, though. After all, he had made genin at the age of five and then chunin at the age of six, getting to be an ANBU captain by thirteen. Being cold and seemingly indifferent to everything and everyone around him came pretty easily considering all the things he'd seen and done during his early developing years. 

Covering ninety percent of his face was even more helpful.

Whenever he came back from any mission, no matter the length or difficulty of it, he made sure to walk the streets of Konoha calmly, letting people see him, letting them notice how relaxed he was with his signature lazy slouch and obscene book in hand. He wanted them to know how unbothered he was, how he lived and pushed through every dangerous situation he encountered himself in. 

Kakashi wanted them to feel safe, because he was loyal to the village, and would die protecting it without hesitation if he had to. 

But it didn't mean he wasn't... wary of doing so.

He was aware of the fact he was getting older and it only meant that, at some point, sooner than later, he was going to find himself in the cold embrace of death, the one he'd managed to avoid for way too long now. 

Kakashi had assumed way back that, when his time finally came, he was going to die in battle like a honorable shinobi. He'd made peace with it, as dark as it sounded, he was resigned to his destiny; every ninja knew death was dangerously close every time they did their duty.

But that'd been in the past, back when everything in his life was dark and sharp, memories too painful, grief too fresh, guilt too heavy. Loneliness had consumed him, and he'd been dumb enough to detach himself from the few people he'd had left and jump head on to taking as many missions as possible. 

But now. Now was different. 

Now there was someone in his life that mattered enough for Kakashi to start worrying about his own safety. Now he actually wanted to come back from missions; just to get to see this person smile one more time, to kiss those lips and hug that body, relishing on the warmth it always enveloped him with, leaving that lingering smell of sunshine and books and managing to overpower the jōnin's stench of blood and violence, to hear that firm but still caring voice silencing the vicious and cruel ones in his mind.

Umino Iruka came into Kakashi's life at the right moment, when the times were somewhat peaceful and he'd been assigned to train a genin team that'd surprisingly managed to pass the jounin's test. Iruka'd been their teacher at the academy and helped Kakashi out with pieces of advice that turned out to be extremely helpful, especially the ones about calming a certain hyperactive blond boy down.

Naruto would hate to hear it, because he still thought of Kakashi as not worthy enough to receive Iruka's affections, but the brat had helped a lot; he was the connection between the two men, the common denominator, and as soon as Kakashi realized it, he started to use the boy's misbehavior as an excuse to talk to Iruka. 

He started to show up at the academy more, waiting for the lunch break to steal Iruka's attention away from his teaching job and talk to him about the latest Naruto incident. He also started hanging out at the mission room more often; the reports of the ones he accomplished had to be delivered to the Hokage directly, but that didn't stop him from lounging around the desk were Iruka worked in the afternoons. Watching the man casually over his book, catching a glimpse of that beautiful smile every now and then, holding back amused smiles when the chunin lost his patience over a poorly written report.

It didn't take long for Iruka to figure out Kakashi's intentions; everyone knew the jounin wasn't the type to be chasing after other people just to spend time with them, and even though they'd both wanted to say "fuck it" and just throw themselves onto the other, it wasn't that easy. Duty always came first. 

They took it slow, taking their time to build a friendship first. Kakashi wasn't the type to get attached, he had a fair ammount of abandonment issues and a lot of emotional trauma to deal with, Iruka on the other hand was still trying to recover from Mizuki's betrayal, which had caused him trust issues. They were both flawed, struggling to hold themselves together despite their problems. 

And before they could actually get better, things around them got worse.

The chunin exams, their big argument, Orochimaru's mark, the Hokage's death, Naruto leaving to go get Tsunade and Sasuke fleeing, everything around them fell apart; hurt and confusion ended up tearing them further appart. Instead of helping each other out, sharing their pain and fears, they both ended up isolating themselves, aching alone in silence while helping to rebuild Konoha.

They still saw each other every now and then, the village wasn't that big, and Iruka still took shifts at the mission room's desk where Kakashi often found himself in; Tsunade had taken a like of him and kept him around. They'd say hi, short waves and hesitant smiles, it was clear that they both needed space; the chunin still grieving over the Third's death, Kakashi still dealing with the guilt of having failed Sasuke. 

It wasn't until after Naruto's departure to go train with Jaraiya that Iruka finally showed up at Kakashi's usual spot on a treebranch near the academy, and their friendship blossomed again. Small and steady steps at first, but neither of them could stand it anymore, tired of wanting but never being able to take or give.

Kakashi was the first one to break.

They'd been eating takeout at Iruka's apartment, the chunin telling him about his fear of Konohamaru being too similar to Naruto, laughing with a slight blush dusting around his scar, Kakashi'd just listened, he loved listening to Iruka's voice, watching his expressions and passionate hand movements. His eyes were so full of life he could see the fire burning behind the brown irises. 

_I'm in love with him_ , Kakashi'd realized, watching Iruka blush even harder after noticing the jounin staring at him, embarrased for getting too carried away by his silly ranting and coming off as annoying. 

Kakashi'd opened his mouth to just say it, but the words wouldn't come out. It was difficult to open up, to be vulnerable and express his feelings. He'd never done it before, not like that.

He didn't need words, though. Iruka always seemed to be able to understand that Kakashi was a quiet person and judging by the pink color dusting the jounin's cheeks and the way he was looking at him, the chunin deduced what was going on pretty quickly. He could speak for the both of them; in the end, their feelings were mutual. 

They didn't need to wait anymore, the world was chaotic and their futures could end fatally way too soon, and the idea of dying without tasting each other was unbearable. 

"Are you going to kiss me or what?" the brunet had challenged, smirking with confidence but his cheeks turning pink.

And that was it.

Kakashi'd almost jumped across the table, his heart beating erratic and frantically inside his chest, because he loved Iruka, but also because he was scared. It was a big step. To finally give in and surrender to his feelings; he knew that after tasting the chunin's lips, after caressing his hot skin, there was no going back. But fuck, Kakashi'd waited long enough; he wanted too much, he wasn't going to let himself be stopped by old fears.

Their first kiss was bruising, desperate, it implied everything they couldn't say, passionately trying to make up for the lost time. It was hard and hot and fast, their teeth knocked together and their noses were crushing against each other until Iruka moved his face a little adjusting the angle. Kakashi put his hands on either side of the chunin's face, holding him as if he'd been afraid he'd disappear, as if he would float away. 

It was too much, too perfect, and his heart threatened to escape his body through his ribcage. It felt like a dream, a fantasy, but Iruka's calloused hands wrapping around his wrists to keep him in place told him it was actually happening. 

It stopped way too soon, though. Just as Kakashi had started to feel like it wasn't enough, that he wanted more, because he wanted everything and anything Iruka would give him. He knew that it was extremely selfish, and the mean nasty voice inside his silver-haired head told him he didn't deserve it, but it was too late now, he was way past the misery act. 

The next kiss was slower, but no less intense, hands getting bolder and tongues unrushed, breathing becoming heavier and heat pooling in their guts, they didn't have to rush, Kakashi had just returned from a mission and the night was young. They lost themselves into the other, all the doubts and tension melting out of their bodies like butter.

Later that night, with the moonlight bathing Iruka's bed, the chunin laying on his back, hair spread on his pillow, eyes closed and face contorted in pleasure as Kakashi adored him steadily but intensely, toes curling and legs shaking, fingers clutching and muscles tensing, breathy moans and eyes rolling back, they both knew that even if it had been worth the wait, they should've pulled their heads out of their asses sooner.

Two years later and they were still going strong. 

It wasn't easy all the time, Iruka was still loud and hotheaded, the fire inside his chest was sometimes too easy to ignite, and Kakashi's collected and borderline cold attitude only made it worse. Their arguments consisted on the chuunin pushing and pushing, desperately trying to get a reaction out of the jounin. And when Kakashi finally snapped, they yelled at each other until they forgot what they were fighting about, and then they'd fuck so hard something would break, and then after a while, they'd do it again, slower this time, filling the apartment of pants and soft moans.

It wasn't perfect, but it was real and that was enough. They loved each other, and in a world where everything could fall apart in the blink of an eye, it was precious. 

Naturally, Iruka wanted to protect it.

He knew he'd do anything to keep Kakashi by his side, the thought sometimes overwhelmed him; shinobi weren't trained to avoid romance, but it wasn't encouraged either. So when he thought about possibly losing the love of his life and his mind provided him with scenarios in which he'd go to extreme ways to bring Kakashi back to his side, he felt a little agitated and hoped that none of that ever happened.

But in real life, hoping is never enough, is it?

Iruka could tell something was off the moment Kakashi set foot at his apartment after a particular mission. The rare occasions in which his boyfriend didn't turn up bloody and wounded or chakra depleted and exhausted, like this one, the jounin would sneak up on him, (or that's what he thought, because Iruka could recognize his chakra anywhere but he still let the jounin believe he'd been distracted enough not to sense him approaching him, even though he'd been anxiously waiting for his return since the moment he left) and kiss him, or hug him, or hide behind something to wait until Iruka walked past to startle him.

But that day, Kakashi simply walked through the front door. 

Like a normal person. 

Knowing him like Iruka knew him, the act alone was enough to set off alarm bells in his brain. 

Kakashi was eccentric, he liked annoying his boyfriend any time he got the chance, he said it was because he thought Iruka was cute when he got irritated, but the chunin knew that there was more to it. Kakashi liked rubbing people the wrong way to know their characters, he pushed to get a reaction; it was infuriating but also really smart. He was already familiar with Iruka's temper though, so he just kept doing it out of routine and for his own amusement. 

"Yo" he said with his usual drawl, dropping lazily on the couch and pulling his mask down. "I'm back."

Iruka, who'd been eyeing him discretely from the floor pretending to grade tests on the kotatsu, looked up with his usual warm smile, the one he reserved for him and Naruto only. "Welcome home." he said dropping the red pen and piling up the papers to distract himself from the worry nudging his mind. "How was the mission?"

Even without his mask, Kakashi had an infuriatingly good poker face, trying to se what was bothering him was nearly impossible, but Iruka could see the tense lines on his shoulders clearly. 

"Successful." the jounin said, shrugging and tugging his gloves off.

Iruka stood up, stretching his back and arms, he'd been looking at his students' tests for longer than he'd realized and now he felt sore. He noticed Kakashi following his movements attentively and suppressed a smirk, he couldn't deny that he loved seeing the effects he had over his boyfriend. 

Walking slowly towards him, he rubbed his eyes to make them focus better and pulled at the tie to let his hair fall out of his usual ponytail knowing that Kakashi liked seing it down.

Dropping on the kotatsu in front of his boyfriend, the chunin leaned in slowly, breathing Kakashi's scent, earthy and windy from running around the woods. Their lips found each other midway, soft and warm. A brush so delicate it let them breathing heavily when they pulled away.

"Any injuries?" Iruka asked almost in a whisper, it wouldn't be the first time Kakashi hid a stab wound under his clothes just to avoid the chunin scolding him for being careless.

Shaking his head, Kakashi muttered "I went to the hospital already, Sakura fixed me up."

That was the second warning. Kakashi was too stubborn to voluntarily get medical help. Something was definitely wrong.

"Let me see." Iruka demanded, trying his hardest to hide his concern. 

But he wasn't Kakashi, he couldn't mask his emotions behind a cool facade, and his boyfried was too perceptive to miss it. "Maa, 'Ruka it's nothing. I'm here, right?" 

But Iruka was already taking his flak jacket off. Kakashi knew better than to resist, so he simply shrugged it off and then pulled the shirt underneath it over his head. 

Iruka hissed at the bandage wrapped around his boyfriend's pale torso, it was clean though, and he couldn't tell the size or gravity of the wound through it. "What happened?" he asked, brushing his fingers against Kakashi's arms, noticing the goosebumps rising after his touch with a small smile.

"Missing nin had a katana and got me on my side." he said, his hand finding Iruka's. "It's not deep and Sakura did a good job."

That wasn't a surprise, but Iruka allowed himself to enjoy the pang of pride for his ex student before focusing back on his boyfriend. If Kakashi's pain wasn't physical, then it would be even more complicated for him to find out. After two years, the jounin still refused to open up about his emotional struggles. 

Iruka understood, though. 

When he woke up with the sound of the shower running at three in the morning only to find Kakashi washing himself with boiling hot water, nails scraping his skin violently and lost look in his eye, Iruka understood and didn't say anything, he didn't ask questions either. He just sighed and carefully took his boyfriend's hands, pulling them away from his body and out of the bathroom.  
When he woke up with the sound of moaning and crying, and whispers of "Obito", "Rin" or "Sensei", he only cuddled closer, shushing and hugging his boyfriend's lean figure firmly. 

He was aware of Kakashi's tormented past; not because they'd talked about it, because they hadn't, at least not in detail. But Iruka could see Kakashi fought an intense inner battle everyday; he could recognize it because Iruka himself had spent many years of his life doing exactly the same.  
Losing people was very hard, dealing with grief and learning how to let those loved ones go was even harder. He'd gotten through it, after a long time he'd managed to make peace with it, but he knew that Kakashi wasn't like him; for Kakashi it was even more difficult because he'd been raised to be a weapon first and human with feelings second.

Iruka wanted him to open up, seeing him like that, tense and unreachable, hurt more than a giant shuriken to the spine. But he needed him to be ready, the chunin was scared of pushing too far and ending up scaring him.

"I'm sorry, you're right," Iruka said, brushing his free fingers through Kakashi's soft silver hair, earning him a soft hum. "I love you too much, 'Kashi. I understand that you have to go on scary missions, but it doesn't keep me from worrying about you. If something happened, I don't know what I'd do."

"I know." Kakashi replied, there wasn't much else to say, and he'd never been good with words. He pulled their joined hands toward him, inviting Iruka to sit on his lap. "I love you too much too, if that makes sense."

"Something's bothering you, I can tell." Iruka said, sitting down on Kakashi's thighs and wrapping his arms around his neck, but staying away enough to look into his boyfriend eye. 

He wasn't going to ask. If Kakashi wanted to say anything, he wanted him to do it on his own accord. So he reassuringly smiled at him and dropped a soft kiss over that cute beauty mark under his lip, chuckling softly at how his boyfriend's breathing hitched. It wasn't hard to get Kakashi going, especially when he was already on top of him, hand buried in his hair, fingers pulling playfully at the strands. 

"Iruka." Kakashi half groaned half whispered as the chunin licked at his slightly opened lips. 

"Yes?" Iruka asked smiling with false innocence, deliberately ignoring the hardening member poking his thigh under him.

Kakashi looked at him unamused, but his lips betrayed him by breaking into a smile. He loved it when Iruka got like this, playful and hot, but what he loved even more was that Iruka was giving him space by letting him know that he was aware of Kakashi's struggles but not pushing him to talk about it.

Iruka was the best thing that'd happened to him in a long time, and even if he wanted nothing more than to desperately take his clothes off and just love him the way he knew how, it was time to talk about what had been torturing him lately. 

Gathering some courage like he was in the batteflied, he looked at Iruka's beautiful chocolate eyes. The pure adoration in them was enough to make his breathing stop and his heart miss a beat. What he'd done to be worthy of the teacher's affections was still a mystery to him, but he wasn't stupid enough to question it. His boyfriend certainly didn't like it when he asked.

"I'm getting old." he blurted out, hands grabbing Iruka's hips firmly, desperately trying to anchor himself. 

The chuunin on top of him stopped dropping kisses on the skin of his neck abruptly, clearly caught off guard. Kakashi knew then that Iruka hadn't expected him to talk about it, and even if it was a logical assumption, it still hurt a little. He needed to pull himself together and start having honest conversations about his emotions. He hadn't meant to keep so many secrets about himself from Iruka for so long.

"Okay?" the chuunin said slowly, pulling away a little more to get a better look at Kakashi's face, who simply sighed and swallowed, clearly trying to word his worries correctly.

"I'm getting old, and I'm... worried." Kakashi admitted begrudgingly, as if he was angry at himself for feeling that way. "The missing nin who cut me, he wasn't exceptional like Zabuza or any of the other strong shinobi I've fought against in the past, but he still got a hit on me."

Silence stretched between them for a few moments, Iruka busying himself with processing his boyfriend's words carefully while softly scratching his nails against Kakashi's scalp, a comforting action he found out worked on him during the first months of their relationship.

"Are you scared of dying?" Iruka asked slowly, his voice so soft it felt like butter, his eyes full of understanding. 

"I'm not scared of dying." he said, because shinobi were trained to give their lives for their village and Kakashi had been stripped of that fear when he turned five years old and made genin. "I'm afraid of what will happen to the people I love when I die."

 _Ah, that makes more sense_ , Iruka thought and nodded in understanding. Kakashi was feeling the pressure of being the village's strongest shinobi.

"I don't wanna get killed and leave Konoha in a vulnerable position." Kakashi groaned, resting his forehead against Iruka's and inhaling his boyfriend's scent of ink and oolong tea. "Everyone is counting on me, and I'm getting old and rusty."

Iruka huffed a laugh and shook his head. He didn't want Kakashi to think he was laughing at him, and the gesture was more relieved than anything, so he made sure to look at him fondly.

"Kakashi, you're not even thirty yet," Iruka reminded him, quickly pecking his lips and then turning serious again. "And yes, all these people are counting on you, sure, but I just wanted to let you know that you can count on me. You should've told me this earlier, babe. You've been tense and distant I started to worry about us, you know?"

Kakashi visibly deflated. Dropping his head on Iruka's shoulder, he apologized quietly against his boyfriend's caramel skin, a small smile pulling at his lips when he felt Iruka squirm under his lips.

"I know I suck at this kind of stuff. It's hard to talk about emotions and stuff." he admitted, straightening up again to look at the chunin's face. Iruka laughed and shook his head fondly at him. "There are a lot of things that I haven't told you, about my past and..."

Iruka sobered up at that, shaking his head slightly and brushing the tips of his fingers delicately against Kakashi's cheek. "I know," he whispered softly, a sad smile pulling the corner of his lips slightly upwards. "And I hope that one day you’ll be comfortable enough to open up to me, but until then, I’m just happy to stay by your side."

Kakashi looked so shocked at that it made Iruka's heart hurt like someone had sneaked up on him and stabbed him through his chest. Sometimes he forgot Kakashi thought he wasn't worth of being loved, and it pained him every single time he remembered. 

"You might end up regretting it." Kakashi said, his expression dead serious, eyes dropping to the floor in defeat, making the ache in Iruka's chest even worse. 

How could he even think that? Iruka thought with a mix of anger and sadness. How could Kakashi even consider that Iruka wouldn't love him unconditionally when they'd been together for more than two years? When he was his first thought when he woke up in the mornings and his last one when he went to bed at night? When he worried sick about his wellbeing while he was away in missions? When he secretly cried in the bathroom every time an ANBU officer stopped at his appartment to notify he'd been so badly injured someone had needed to carry him to the hospital? The thought brought tears to his eyes.

Grabbing the jounin's face firmly, Iruka forced him to look at him in the eyes. His expression fiercely determined despite the tears. "Hatake Kakashi, listen to me very carefully." Iruka demanded using his firm teacher voice even though it wasn't necessary, Kakashi always listened to him. "I could never, and I mean ever, regret you. You're one of the best things that have happened to me, don't you understand? I love you so much it scares me sometimes."

He didn't give Kakashi the time to react, the fire in his veins burned under his skin and before he could control himself, his lips crashed against Kakashi's in a bruising kiss that tried to convey every emotion he was feeling at the moment. His boyfriend didn't hesitate in returning it with the same amount of passion, and when Kakashi's strong and calloused hands brushed his navel under his shirt, he knew they wouldn't be doing any more coherent talking for a while.

And he was right, because the conversation went along the lines of:

"Shit." Kakashi hissed through gritted teeth when Iruka dropped down to his knees between the jounin's thighs and took him into his warm mouth without hesitation, swirling his tonge the way he knew it'd make Kakashi's hips stutter.

"Fuck yeah." Iruka gasped later when he was bent over the kotatsu pushing back against Kakashi's unforgiving fingers stretching him, his eyes rolling into his skull. 

"Feel... so... good." Kakashi growled in his ear, nipping at the lobe while his hips snapped hard against his lover's, the sounds of Iruka's cries filling the room obscenely.

"Kakashi if you stop I swear I'm gonna fucking ki- Oh!" his threat died when he felt a hand wrap around his erection, his breath escaping his body like a punch to his gut, Kakashi's thrusts becoming sloppier and erratic.

"That was..." Kakashi whispered breathlessly after coming down from their highs, laying on the couch together, Iruka's body on top of his being bathed by the last rays of the afternoon sun, giving his skin a golden glow that took the jounin's breath away and made him uncover the sharingan just for a few seconds to save the memory forever. 

"Yeah." the chunin sighed contentedly, cuddling closer to his chest. 

They stayed there for a while, watching the night fall through the window, silently enjoying each other's company. 

"You should talk to Tsunade-sama, you know?" Iruka murmured all of the sudden. "If you're so worried about it, I'm sure she'll understand and know what to do."

Kakashi huffed out an incredulous laugh, of course Iruka was still worrying over their conversation. "Yeah, right" he drawled sarcastically. Making Tsunade understand something should be considered an S-class mission. 

Iruka stirred in his arms and sat up, his expression was serious, but it was hard to focus on the severity of his eyes when his long hair looked like a bird's nest and his cheeks were still flushed brightly, Kakashi felt a pleasent twist in his gut. "You know that you aren't the only good shinobi in the village, right? I know that you're the best, and a genius, and well... really strong, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve a little break." 

Kakashi hummed lost in thought. If someone had told him to take a break two years ago, he wouldn't had given it a thought. His sense of duty and loyalty to Konoha were too strong for him to even imagine not being able to take a mission at least every week. But now, with his genin team gone and his ties to Iruka, a few less missions a month didn't sound too bad. He knew Tsunade had been assigning him even D-class missions because he was constantly hanging around the Academy, either watching Iruka or accepting Gai's stupid challenges, and she thought that it was a better use of his time to work than fuck around.

"Wow there sensei, I'm blushing over here with all those compliments" he joked, but the look Iruka gave him swiped the smile off his lips immediately. "Damn, tough crowd tonight." he mused only to receive a hard punch on his arm.

"Kakashi, I'm being serious. I don't think the missing nin got to you because you're getting old, I think it's actually because you're worn out. You've been taking way too many missions, it's not good for you..." Iruka trailed off, eyes softening. "Or for me."

"Oh?" Kakashi prompted. He knew exactly what Iruka meant by that, but he still wanted to hear him say it.

Rolling his eyes, clearly aware of the jounin's intention, Iruka indulged him this time. "Yeah, you know I'd love to wake up next to you more often, and cuddle with you in bed, and do other things too..." he trailed off, blushing as if he wasn't currently naked on top of him. "Oh and I'd love for you to cook because you know I can't cook for shit, and to give me those amazing massages you give me sometimes. Hell, I'd even consider reenacting a scene of one of the Icha Icha books." 

Kakashi really hadn't meant to perk up at that, but he couldn't help it. "You should've started there, sensei!"

"I said I'll consider it, though. So don't get your hopes up!" Iruka reprimanded, trying to suppress a smile. He'd do anything for Kakashi, but pretend to be a damsel in distress was a tough call.

Kakashi laughed loudly at that, clearly knowing what he was thinking. "You're right, I'll talk to Tsunade tomorrow."

 _And I'll try to talk to you like this more often_ , he thought, pulling Iruka back into his arms and holding him close, mentally preparing himself to open up.  
Sure, Iruka would do anything for Kakashi, but apparently he wasn't aware of the fact that Kakashi'd do the same for him.

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact this is the first fic i ever wrote. i completely forgot about it and found it last night when i was looking through my drafts. i feel like i suck at writing angst, this is like way out of my comfort zone and i really dislike it but i thought maybe someone might enjoy it?
> 
> i hope you're all doing okay during these trying times, please stay safe and wash your hands, i love you!
> 
> come say hi on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/wlwiruka)


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